It's like having Laverne without Shirley.
Cereal without milk.
George Burns without Gracie.
Green eggs without ham.
Dean Martin without Jerry Lewis!
Gah! Can you imagine?! It would be a sheer travesty.
It is a holiday about giving thanks. Yes, even about giving thanks for your great-aunt Mildred who must have majored in nitpicking back in the day and young Snidely who flicks his boogies your way.
Okay. Enough about boogies. This is a food blog and I'm supposed to percolate your senses and make you to want to stuff your face with food.
Cooking a turkey seems like a daunting task.
Especially after watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
But, it's really not that scary! I promise!! Cooking turkeys is actually a lot of fun.
The best part about turkeys? Everyone has their "go-to" their thang that they swear by doing: brining, frying, whatever! I have a challenge for you! Try finding your own thang, and do what you wanna do.
Mine? The slow cooker. I swear by it. Cook your turkey per usual, and when the thermometer reads within 170 degrees, take 'er out, carve 'er up, save 'er juices, and transfer to the slow cooker.
Yes, yes, I know, I know, I know. I can hear the sighs of disapproval now. Not the same presentation as bringing out a gorgeous stuffed bird on your beautiful china platter.
May I refer to the above photo? The first time I cooked a turkey, that was all that I had envisioned. So, I decided to go a safer route, and realized that in the process, I had stumbled upon the most delicious, most juicy turkey of all time!
Stick with me, kid. I gotchyourback.
Whole turkey, whatever size you fancy!, innards removed
1 cup + grapeseed oil (depending on the size of the bird)
1 cup chicken stock
4 sprigs each of Rosemary, Thyme, and Parsley
2 to 3 lemons, cut in half
1 onion, quartered
Salt and pepper
1. According to the instructions that came with your turkey, thaw it (Note: make sure that you look 1 to 2 days before the big day, it may need to thaw for a few days in the refrigerator).
2. Preheat your oven to 500 degrees.
3. While the oven is preheating, fill your sink with warm water. (Note: don't be yucky, make sure your sink is clean!) Place the unwrapped and thawed turkey into the warm water. Let it hang out there for about 30 minutes. Remove, pat dry.
4. Place the turkey into a roasting pan, with the wings tucked under the bird, and fill the cavity with the springs, lemons, and onion.
5. Pour the oil onto the bird and liberally cover with salt and pepper and cover it with aluminum foil (make sure the foil does not touch the bird). Pour the stock in the bottom of the roasting pan.
6. Cook the turkey at 500 for 25-30 minutes. After 25-30 minutes, reduce the heat to 350. The turkey may take an additional 2 + hours, depending upon its size.
7. Every 20 to 25 minutes, baste the turkey.
8. When a thermometer registers within the 165-170 range, remove the turkey from the oven, and allow it to sit for about 10 to 20 minutes before carving.
9. Turn your slow cooker onto medium. Pour the oil from the roasting pan into the slow cooker, and place the slices of carved turkey (along with the herbs, onions, and lemons if you can fit 'em) into the slow cooker.
10. Keep the turkey in the slow cooker on medium heat for approximately 45 minutes to an hour.
11. Save the carcass and make a stock! (Recipe coming soon!)