Hello? Is this mic on?
Oh good, it is… Hey! Hi! Remember me?
I know, I know, it’s been a while. I assure you that my absence has been with reason. I have heard about some of the rumors circulating, and wish to address them. I promise that none of them are true.
- I was not abducted by a mob of bandit ninjas.
- My husband and I didn’t flee to Colombia, because we are running from my husband's past of being a former bandit ninja.
- Nor did I become a lounge singer in Atlantic City.
All of those things are great in their own right, and would make for a fabulous novel, but simply did not occur (although the last one would be awesome). You see the truth is that I got a new job. It’s great!! I work in a flower shop in my neighborhood! Beautiful things and wonderful scents endlessly surround me. I lead a tough life; it’s often difficult to get out of bed in the morning, but I am somehow managing.
I jest. In fact, I have never been quite so happy! It has taken some time to fully adjust to my new schedule and commute (walking three blocks is quite taxing, I assure you), so I have consequently allowed my blogging to slack.
But, never fear! I am back and here to talk to you about something that has been on my mind.
Avocadoes are simply delicious. Slice them up and put them into a sandwich or wrap. Or mash them up and serve with chips. Or just simply look at ‘em.
Well, that’s what I did recently. I stared at a halved avocado and realized what a true beauty the vegetable is! She’s a beaut! Green and yellow and just... so... purty.
It just has a perfect shape! Thin up top and thicker on the bottom. Not quite sure where I have seen that before. Oddly close to a pear shape, which is what I see when I look into the mirror. Oh yes, I recognize it now!
Therefore I have resigned myself to make into existence the “avocado shape.” And I’m going to be the first to personify this, as it is so much more than a shape, but a state of mind.
Imagine what it would have done for JLo's career if she had claimed to be avocado shaped and not pear shaped.
She would have been a star, I tell ya!